Single Pixel Transparent Image Seeks Gainful Employment

But then this guy, David Seigel came along, and hooked me up with opportunities in an amazing network of organizations. I was doing work for Fortune 100 companies, non-profits, mom-and-pop shops and some of the biggest names in the dot com world. You couldn’t always see the impact I was having, but wherever navigation items followed a long, flowing arc as opposed to staying within a grid, I was there keeping things together. At the height of my career, most of the web would have fallen apart without me. Remember when you were browsing and there was only one history? That’s when I was carrying you.

But then along came a whole new approach to the business, incorporating so-called “standards.” People questioned my purpose in their larger communication goals. We got into a lot of arguments about semantics. Then it got personal. They called me a hack. Dead weight. Me!? I’m literally 1 pixel wide by 1 pixel tall. How could you accuse me of making anything fatter? That’s like saying a single grain of sugar is what makes cookies fattening.

So here’s the deal: I have more experience on the web than anyone out there, and I’m looking for some new challenges. If you would like to consider me for a position in your web business, I bring a lot to the table. My skills include:

• Providing support
• Flexibility and stability
• You can ignore me, but I still keep it together
• Open to appearing in e-mail messages and IE6 as needed
• Microsoft Office
• Keeping Flash movies in their place

To contact me, please visit just about any website between 1998 and 2002 or so at The Wayback Machine, and then view source. You’ll find me there, and wherever else people don’t know what they’re doing, keeping the hot side hot and the cool side cool. Also, I’d really appreciate some suggestions for a new line of work — really any use that you think I might have. Please tweet them below. Thanks!

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